Letters to Sarah

by Meredith Walters

Dear Sarah:

It seems weird to miss you more now than I did before when you were in Syria. Either way, you’re not by my side, but now you seem so much farther than you did before. At least before if I wanted to hear your wise words and kind laugh, feel your support and love, or find out the truth—and I mean the truth—about how you were doing, we could attempt to have a brief, broken up, and scratchy conversation on Skype. Now there’s only silence.

Sarah Shourd

I try to imagine your eyes, and what they’re looking at. I pray for you and Shane and Josh…that you’re in a comfortable place together, and I send you hope, strength, and love. It took me a while to feel sad, and I kind of hoped you would come home before I had to. But now when I look at your picture, I just start crying, and I want more than anything to see you smile in person and hug you for miles and miles.

It’s hard to feel so powerless to do anything. I’m doing what I can, but it doesn’t seem like much. I imagine it’s much harder on your end in that respect. I imagine there may be many hard things on your end, and that makes me sad too.

But missing you and being sad makes me grateful that I have so much to miss. I’m so lucky to have met you, someone with a soul so similar to mine, one that understands me and that I understand, and one that I love so much that it must be destined to walk close to mine. And that gives me hope. Because I love you so much that I know you can never be truly far.

So I pray for your safe, sound, and swift return (and Josh’s and Shane’s too) and look forward to the best hug ever when you get back. I’m thinking of you, sending you lots of love.

~ Meredith.